Sloth LeeThe slowest ninja alive · watching your DiscordMeet Sloth Lee
He moves slowly because he's already three steps ahead. He'll watch your community the way he watched the Eternal Canopy — calmly, constantly, and without ever getting tired.
Live from the grove
The numbers below come straight from the bot. They update as he works — no hand-curated screenshots, no marketing placeholders.
What he does for your grove
None of these are gimmicks. Each one is something he watches, tracks, or does for you while you sleep. The brain in the corner is the cloud-AI layer he runs everything through.
Cloud AI brain
Cloud-hosted models from Ollama and Featherless score every message for phishing, spam, and toxicity. The Raid Forecaster watches join velocity and name patterns. The Mod Replay Simulator dry-runs any rule change against last week's traffic. Bring your own keys or use his — your call.
Dashboard
Thirty pages of moderation, members, settings, analytics, support. Cmd+K palette, saved views, real-time updates, passkey-grade security.
Moderation
He sees every message before you do. He acts on the ones that matter.
Support
Help requests, member reports, and staff threads — all in one calm inbox.
AutoMod
Spambats, Scamcoyotes, and the rest. Pattern-scored on arrival, not after the damage.
Audit
Hash-chained timeline. Every action carries who, when, and why. Tamper-evident, exportable.
Privacy
GDPR export and delete in one click. Your community's data is your community's.
Move slow.
Anticipate. Don't react.
Think fast.
Calm body. Quick mind.
Defend always.
No sleeping. No quitting.
A short version of his story
The full thing lives on the about page — three chapters here so you get the gist.
Chapter I
He was too slow for fruit-picking races. Too quiet for territorial disputes. Everyone wrote him off. Sloth Lee was busy watching.
Chapter III
He climbed Mount Tranquil for seven years to study under Master Bamboo. Master Bamboo only had one rule: never try to be fast.
Chapter V
He came down to find the canopy in chaos. He couldn't be everywhere — so he made himself into a bot you can summon to your grove.
A field guide to the six creatures he's actually watching for — Spambats, Scamcoyotes, Mischief-monkeys and three more. What they do, how he handles them.
What you'll see when you log in
Every action Sloth Lee takes is logged. Every alert is ranked by urgency. Every config is reachable in one click. The dashboard at slothlee.xyz is the other half of the product — staff tune him, see what he's seen, and run their grove from a browser.
Above the fold
Six priority cards at the top of every dashboard session: tickets past SLA, mod cases needing review, unread notifications, pending beta apps. Status stats (latency, uptime, version) demoted below the fold where they belong.
Per-case detail
Every mod action gets its own row with the actor, the target, the reason, the AI-context snippet. Tamper-evident: each entry is hashed into the previous one. Broken chains surface as a red flag.
AI server diagnostician
The AI Insights page surfaces engagement trends, sentiment shifts, raid risk forecasts, and a mod-replay simulator (re-runs the last week against a proposed rule change so you see impact before shipping).
Operator-composed DMs
Send a Discord DM to any user via the bot from any page that already references them — mod case detail, ticket detail, beta admin. Three-layer rate limit, full audit log, recipient opt-out toggle.
Multi-server view
Your subscription covers every server you own or manage. Switch via the sidebar; bulk ops + cross-server analytics let you treat ten servers as one operating surface.
Live + observable
Top of the dashboard shows the bot's live status, version, codename, build SHA. The What's New page surfaces the running version across every component (bot, dashboard, homepage) with uptime for each.
The Slow Style of setup
Add Sloth Lee to your server. He arrives, bows, and waits for instructions.
Pick the kind of community you run — gaming, study, creator. He sets up channels and roles in seconds.
Tune the rest from a calm web HQ. He'll watch the grove while you work.
Support the slow watch
Sloth Lee is independently operated. He doesn't run ads, nag for upgrades, or sell your data. If he's made your grove calmer, you can keep him fed — any amount helps.
Look for the Support me button in the bottom-left corner, or open the donation page directly.
Transparency
Real numbers land in the transparency log — he doesn't pretend the spreadsheet is exciting.
No tiers, no perks
There's no Patreon-style tier ladder and no paywalled features. If you donate, you get the same bot everyone else gets — just kept online a bit longer.
Read the character bible to see why he stays ad-free and small.
Where it goes
Hosting. The OpenAI / Ollama bill. The domain renewal that always sneaks up. The rest goes into a slow research fund for the AI features that aren't ready yet.
Ready to summon him?
One install. He picks up the watch and doesn't put it down.
